I have fallen off the planet...

Here it is nearly June again, and I haven't posted in next to forever. School lets out in two weeks and then the kids and I start our summer schedule. They are on a two-week rotation of summer camp and daycare this year, four days a week, and Fridays will be momma-and-kids days for the next 11 weeks.

Work is kinda iffy right now. We have very little business which is about normal for this time of year, but this year seems a lot less busy even than normal. Things could get interesting so I need to get ready for the unexpected. Dropping down to 26 hours a week for the summer may stave off a layoff for either me or Kevin (my work partner), but i know they wanted me to cut my hours even more. I would if I could in a heartbeat. I would *love* to spend more time with my kids, who are slipping away from me again. We don't have the time (or me, the energy) for much play therapy anymore and it shows. They are having a hard time at school and the teachers are getting frustrated with them. not good.

On a happier note, we have been getting together with our group of friends, known to us collectively as The Horde. Saturday we nearly had the whole group together, numbering at 23 we were only short one person. We had a great time together, and I still can't believe we failed to get a picture. (Someone usually remembers at the last minute when one of the families is getting ready to leave, but this time we failed utterly...bummer). Jordan spent much of his time downstairs with some of the boys, watching them play video games, or outside playing with Quinn, the youngest of the bunch. I probably should have checked to see just exactly what they were playing downstairs, but someone will usually send him upstairs if they are not sure its appropriate for him. Hannah played with various of the younger kids, inside and outside, but neither kid complained of being bored or left out. I actually got to talk to people, and wander in and out of the house without having to check on them 500 times.

I wish I had not had to wait so long in my life to meet this awesome bunch of people. I fit in here as never before. And having been an outsider all my life, even with my own family, its even more amazing. I am accepted, my kids are accepted. It makes my heart smile to be a part of them.

Back to our regularly scheduled life...almost...

This week started out pretty well. The kids were back in school after a long weekend. Jordan had been sick Saturday with the pukeys for 12 hours, but was much better. Hannah was whining that she didn't want to go back to school, but she did miss her friends. Wednesday night at ChuckECheese went okay, but we were there so early they didn't get to see anyone they knew. It was nice for David and I 'cause we could see them wherever they went, and not have to search through throngs of bodies to locate one of our kids.

Thursday Jordan went off to daycare and Hannah went off to school. I had dropped off her overnight bag at her friend A's house the day before when I picked up Jordan, as she was staying overnight and I wouldn't see her until Friday after school (half-days, so a mid-week overnight was not a big deal). I had one kid for two days.

What a HUGE difference it is having one kid in the house instead of two. Holy cow! It was quiet, peaceful even. Scary thought. Jordan and I went into Ypsi and got my mud-encrusted minivan washed, and he saw the KFC on the way home. He loves their potato wedges, so we circled around and went back and picked up dinner for the three of us (David loves the chicken strips). I wish Jordan would try the chicken strips, but they are the wrong shape and he just knows they are not the nuggets he is used to eating. (Someday I hope to figure out or outsmart this wrong food/shape/dish/color/place thing with food. He will sob if it is not right (and scream if I tell him that's all there is). It's different than a tantrum; its like I'm torturing him by offering him something he just can't possibly eat.)

Later, we read a bunch of books, played bionicles, K'nex, and he got to sleep on the couch since Sissy was on a sleepover.We got up and ready for school in record time, but having Dad home helping was a bonus as well. We made it to school at twenty to 8 which is just ridiculous, but we had to go check in with Hannah-girl and make arrangements for Jordan to be picked up at 11 instead of 11:15 since I had to leave for work and there was a sub (who may or may not be able to handle the grand mal hissy-fit when I left). My plan was to stay with Jordan's class until I had to go to work at eleven, helping out with the substitute teacher and the kids the para normally works with (Jordan being one of them), while the regular teacher did parent conferences and IEP meetings. I love being in the kids' classes, and wish I could afford to become a para and be there all day, every day. I haven't been able to spend much time in their classes this year and am sad I don't know all the kids yet.

We were cruising along in class when my husband called my cell phone. He said I needed to call my boss. Discovered my co-worker was out sick and my boss was trying to do everything (including getting a software release ready to go out). Poor Jordan just came unwrapped. This was a day he had looked forward to (and that I'd been hanging over his head when he was getting out of control). I apologized to the teachers, para, etc and said I had to go "right now". They wrangled the boy so I could go. :( Not a good day. My plan is to go in on Tuesday morning and be there until he gets picked up for afternoon care, and then go to work. I am just not advertising it this time in case another crisis occurs...

This weekend we just spent reading more books (my eBay purchases of kids' chapter books all arrived this week, can ya tell?), playing games, doing puzzles, and watching videos (while mom cleaned, did laundry, etc, in-between). A good time was had by all. This coming week is supposed to be a "regular" week. Maybe we can get the boy to eat something other than Stouffer's mac'n'cheese and PBJs. Could happen...

Holiday Survival

We survived the holidays, but somehow we are still in the aftermath of upset schedules, lack of routine, and general mayhem.

Christmas went pretty well. We actually got a tree up *and* decorated before Christmas eve (no mean feat in this house!), and the kids we happy with their toys, even though it was a LOT less than last year. Jordan is in Bionicle/K'Nex heaven, and Hannah has crafts and Barbie/pony/pink stuff. We lived through another Christmas at my sister's, but were all relieved to come home, and then went to my mom's one day and had dinner and more gifts for the kids.

And then we had our last Christmas with David's mom and brother's family on New Year's eve day. A good time was had by all. And that afternoon, most of the rest of our group of friends (collectively known as "The Horde") arrived at at the same house (David's brother's) to celebrate New Year's eve and spend the night. There were 8 adults and 12 children (ranging in age stair-step from 2yrs to 18yrs). We had an absolute blast. Everyone brought food and games (I finally got to play Scrabble!!), and we ate and played until midnight. We rang jingle bells from the tree and toasted the new year, then I tucked my kids down for the night and crashed. LOL By 12:20 I was a coma. New Year's morning we had a breakfast feast of pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausage, donuts, and custom made-to-order omelettes (thank you Timothy and all!!!).

The kids had a really hard time this year with all the "go here, do that" kinda stuff. Our schedule was totally trashed and even though we started out every morning with a "this is what's happening today" talk, they were whiny and throwing tantrums over amazingly little stuff. Hannah is chewing on everything in sight (still) and Jordan is hiding and retreating into his head a lot (still). They have taken to fighting and screaming in the car now, which mostly makes me want to stop and toss them both out. Jordan cried and screamed all the way to school this morning, and then the two of them fought and carried on all the way home tonight after picking Jordan up. ARGH!

The best is yet to come. Monday was a holiday so the kids went to daycare. Tues and Wed are normal days, but Thursday and Friday are half-days for parent-teacher conferences. Since Jordan is in kindergarten, his class does not meet at all on Thursday so back to daycare he goes. He is even fighting that, and he loves it there. Friday I am going to be in class with him since there is no para that day plus they are having a sub while the teacher starts conferences. Oy! So much for getting back to normal after the holidays!!! Oh, and they scheduled a school Chuck-E-Cheese night for Wed. ARGH! Who plans this stuff?

Hoo boy, its late!

What's wrong with me??

Leaving the kids' school today I wondered "What's wrong with me? Why can't I be one of those parents running over pylons and signs, and turning the wrong way out of the parking lot, nearly causing an accident, to save myself a trip around the block?"

Leaving the crowded grocery store in the rain tonight, I wondered, "What's wrong with me? Why am I putting my cart away when 16 other people couldn't be bothered to move their empty cart 15 feet to the nearest cart corral?"

Why can't I be normal and pull up just far enough in traffic to block someone trying to leave a driveway or parking lot? Why am I driven to make things a little smoother, make people a little happier, do the little things that help make the world go round, when most of the people around me just couldn't care any less?

I want to be like everyone else... or do I?

So much for doing what I'm *supposed* to do...

Hannah went to another birthday party/sleepover last night (for the second Friday in a row) and so had post-party letdown today. Its quiet in here, and Jordan is not playing with her, and she only "sort of" wants to play with me. So after much picking and bickering, I decided to add another child to the fun. I called my friend Cindi (who has been the kids' daycare provider for several years) and asked if her 7yo daughter would like to come and play for a couple of hours. The kids and I went to pick her up, and Cindi mentioned that it was too bad there was no place to go with the kids since she was convinced that the three of them would wake up sleeping David if we went back to our house. The kids were in orbit by this time, on seeing Cindi's daughter, so the talk wandered around to Jungle Java in Canton. For those who have never seen one of these, it is a huge indoor play structure with a coffee/snack bar. http://www.junglejavaplay.com/map.htm

Two and a half hours later we drug our exhausted kids out to the car for the trip home. My two were in bed by 9pm, after snacks, etc, but I will pay for the late bedtime tomorrow...lol They normally go to bed at 7:30pm, *every* night. They have no concept of "sleeping in". If they sleep until 7:30am I will be ecstatic.

From where I sit I am still staring at the "stuff" that has to be re-located to put up a Christmas tree. The kids were anti-help today in getting anything useful done, although I did get about 4 and a half loads of laundry done (who wears all these clothes, anyway???), and played with each kid for a significant period. Playing with my kids is very high on my list, but with Christmas severely compressing my timeline, I do feel guilty about not getting stuff done in that direction. Of course, I should give myself a little slack. David slept pretty much from the time he got home from work today until I got the kids in bed tonight. He helped me move a table into his shop downstairs which is now Santa's workshop until after Christmas, and he is now in the shower and will leave for work in about 15 minutes. Did I mention that I *hate* the shift he works?

Grump, growl, grrrrrr... I'm going to go stick my face in a book for 20 minutes...if I can stay awake that long. Maybe if I get some actual sleep tonight I can be civil *and* useful tomorrow. Ya think?

Let it snow...and other ramblings...

We had 5" of snow last Friday, and another five today. That's a lot for even Michigan in December! The kids think this is just terrific! Momma just wishes she had a self-cleaning driveway .

Life has been such a roller coaster since the kids started school. Both are doing well, but Jordan is having a terrible time letting me go to work after I drop them off at school in the morning. Class doesn't start until 8:15am, but since I have to be to work by 8, I can drop them off in the building and they sit in a nice warm, dry, carpeted hallway with other kids until 8 when they can go to class. This is apparently too much for him. He has been having grand mal hissies, screaming, clutching my leg, crying, the whole thing. I have to try to peel him off, but he just runs after me and gets louder. No amount of reassurance, bribery, or anything help in the slightest. And, once he has melted down, his teacher takes him to the classroom where he lays in the library corner in the fetal position for an hour before he can recover enough to join the class.

Please note this all sounds much worse than it is...he is not being abused in any way, but there are facts of life and one of them is that mom has to go to work. Period. He is being left in a quiet, warm, safe environment, with his older sister and kids he knows and likes, and a teacher or the principal is present. And its not that he doesn't like school! His teacher has been having me drop the kids off outside in the morning this week to see if that helps. She literally comes out and takes them out of the van. Jordan is delighted with this arrangement since he loves his teacher and really does want to go to class. Anyone have any suggestions? I can't ask his teacher to continue this much longer. She has morning prep to do in that 15 minutes, and I know that time is precious to her. If there is school tomorrow (and not a snow day), I'll talk to the teacher, special ed coordinator, and school social worker to see what we can do long term. Have I mentioned that this is a truly awesome school?

On a lighter note, Hannah has discovered puns. She popped off with a comment the other day while doing her homework, stopped (and you could see the lightbulb in her head come on!), and said "Momma, get it?" and laughed. Her comment was "There's no point to using a dull pencil." (and for those of you not getting it -- dull pencil...no point -- nevermind...).

Hold on a sec while I try to pry David off the couch to get ready for work. He is currently a coma...

Speaking of comas, I need to go become one very shortly. I promised myself more than 6 hours of sleep tonight and I have to get ready for morning (before I go to bed - why is that so warped?).

Solstice is coming in 6 days, am I ready? NO! Christmas is coming in 10 days, am I ready? NO! Boy am I in trouble...sigh...

Wow! Where'd the time go??

School starts in two weeks, and I have blown off my blog for a whole month! So much for documenting what we did this summer...

We did actually go places and do things, I just have been soooo tired and out of sorts, I haven't been writing. Tomorrow we are off to my dad's in Ohio again, to visit one more time before school starts. The original plan was to take Jordan in for his Pre-kindergarten eye exam with my childhood eye doctor while we were there, but he is booked up and we can't get in. :(

So many things rolling around in my head, and nothing making sense enough to write about. Maybe tomorrow! HA!

Hannah's Turning 6!

Tomorrow my eldest will be 6 years old. Hard to believe. It's been a long, hard road, but I waited 37 years for her to be born. I have always wanted to be a parent. My mom says my first word was "baby".

Hannah was born at 37 and a half weeks by Caesarean section. My labor was doing virtually nothing and my water had broken hours ago when labor started. She was frank breech, with her feet on her face, and face up, if I recall. None of it good for getting her birthed. One C-section later, they whisked her away into the NICU for observation (many things can be very wrong with a baby born to a mom with lupus, but having her in the NICU they could find it and treat anything they found). She was the giant of the NICU, weighing in at 7 lbs 7oz, with her legs sticking straight up in the air. (They only thing they did find was that she was born with no hip sockets. She wore a special harness, brace thing for much of her first year, but now has healthy well formed hip sockets. Who knew?)
I never got to see her in the NICU. In the recovery room I reacted to the DuraMorph and proceeded to throw up for the next 24 hours. (Note: this is so much fun when you have a zipper of fresh staples across your lower abdomen!) I awoke the following night, in my room, to this unearthly high-pitched siren. David and I were scrambling around in the dark to find out what the hell that noise was, when one of our nurses Chris popped in, and said "Oh, you have a little girl! That's what that noise is!" and giggled. By this time we had a light on and sure enough, there was a red-faced, squalling Hannah. David just looked at each other and said "Oh, what have we done?" Thus began life with Dear Daughter, Hannah...

Cool, Clear Water

David helped me lay out the pool Sunday morning when he got home from work, and the kids and I proceeded to fill it and smooth out the bottom as he slept. Silly little seals, flipped and flopped around in a half inch of water, then an inch, and so on until it was about half full and they were blue.

We went inside to wrap up in blankets and warm up, to let the pool finish filling. Imagine my surprise on going back out for an afternoon swim that the pool had mysteriously turned into a wading pool! Last year the pool was a good depth for a 4- and 5-year-old. This year it hits them both at the tops of their thighs! Yikes, how much they've grown! It's still a good depth for them to seal around in, but we may have to upgrade next year. Watch those summer clearances! (We got our current 12 foot pool for $20 on clearance a couple of years ago - including the pump, filter and all.)